


Soft Inside and Out

by Hallyeet



Category: Rise of the TMNT - Fandom, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27016945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hallyeet/pseuds/Hallyeet
Summary: ~Takes place after "Many Unhappy Returns"~After returning home from their battle with Shredder, Donnie finds himself shut away to repair his tech. The sight of his broken kingdom leads to unburying dark thoughts long hidden away.
Relationships: Donatello & April O'Neil (TMNT), Donatello & Leonardo & Michelangelo & Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	Soft Inside and Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost because the book it was in has been deleted. But the original unedited version was written by a sleepy author who woke up briefly, wrote it, posted it, then fell back asleep. I made a few changes since then. Enjoy!

Donnie had worked day and night to repair his beloved battle shell after their face-off with the Shredder.

Amidst the clinking and tinkering, he heard his brothers' cheers from the outside, relaxing now that the beast had been contained back to its prison dimension, and they could all rest easy now. _They_ could. Donnie however had shut himself into his lab after all of them had gotten as much sleep as they could after nonstop fighting for three days. His thumb carefully ran over the jagged cuts of where the metal had been torn and where they would need to be welded back in place. 

Wires, circuits, gears, batteries, every function he poured hours of work into would need to be rebuilt again. He swallowed down a lump that had become apparent in his throat. That was only the first of his problems. Bringing _all_ of his tech was a stupid mistake made in the heat of the moment. Shredder had more or less flicked them all away like flies until it grabbed a hold of the softshell. It was mere seconds before those sharp...blades nearly sliced down into his-

He cleared his throat.

A fallen king amongst his wrecked kingdom. A kingdom he'd have to rebuild because he made the wrong choices.

That searing heat rose in his throat again and he cleared it again, squeezing his eyes shut as the fire burned at his eyelids. His fingers flew up to massage the bridge of his snout as it somehow wheezed its way out. A demon repressed for so long that finally decided to show its ugly face. Donnie thought he had cleared this hurdle ages ago, but...

"Soft…"

Barely there. Barely noticeable. Oh, but he noticed. He took note of how wretched it sounded in his own ears.

_"Soft."_

Again, but more bite to it. More of a hiss than a whisper this time.

**_"Soft."_ **

It began a string of chanting, venom, and hate burning the air as he repeated the words and it echoed in his cavernous home. His fingers curled, stretching his skin tightly until they were shaking fists tightly as his side. His gaze traveled from one piece of machinery to the next, all punctured with the same scars. Cut into like they were nothing but soft butter.

Soft butter.

_Soft._

Do you know how when you chant a word enough, it eventually loses all meaning and you begin to wonder if it was ever meant to exist in the first place? An anomaly. A freak. A monster. Donnie's eyes eventually landed on his beloved tech bo, bent and out of shape, electricity sparking and malfunctioning even still after the battle long ended. The only thing that still worked...He hesitantly pressed on one of the buttons still intact. The compartment's door slid open and a metal arm stretched out. What it held...was a white handkerchief.

It felt like his shell had weighed a million tons then, mocking him. It reminded him of the burden nobody else had to carry. His brothers were doing reckless things at a young age, all without fear as they could easily land on their back while he watched from the sidelines merely wishing he could join in. It angered him. Awoke a flame inside him that he hadn't felt in a while. Was he really going to throw a temper tantrum like a dumb little kid?

...Yes. He was.

Things went flying, crashing against the stone walls of the sewer as he shouted at them, the tears falling and burning like lava waterfalls. Shouting felt good. He could get all the confusing and painful emotions out of his system. He could say what he wanted without a damn care as to what anyone else thought. One after another, the devices he so lovingly nurtured and cared for were crushed and damaged even more nearly beyond recognition.

"YOU ARE SOFT AND YOU ARE SOFT. SO ARE YOU. STUPID SOFT PIECES OF-"

The door of the lab flew open, the shadows of his brothers crawling across the floor where the new light had entered. Donatello whipped around, eyes flashing as a hiss spat through his teeth aggressively. On a normal day, any one of his siblings would know the severity of that kind of warning.

_Back off._

There was silence as his adrenaline faded before Mikey finally spoke. "Donnie...are you..using the S-word again?" The purple banded turtle's eyes moved from one face to another, taking in the fallen expressions of his beloved sibling before the tech he currently held in his hands felt to his feet with a clatter.

There was silence until a choked sob crawled its way out of the softshell. He shuddered, drawing in a breath before he felt those pesky hot tears begin trekking their way down his mask, leaving a darkened trail of purple behind them. 

"Donnie…"

"That's all I am," he whimpered out, arms clutching at his upper arms as he squeezed his eyes shut, "Soft."

He almost didn't want to open his eyes when arms hugged around his middle, Mikey's embrace a familiar feeling. Another pair joined from the other side, a soft yet peculiar chirp whispering hush from Leo's throat. It was something only they knew about. A twins' secret. To top it all off, Raph came in last, wrapping all of them up as a whole like a safe blanket.

"Being soft isn't always bad," Mikey whispered, words that spoke louder than they were said. Donnie closed his eyes.

~

He was curled up on the couch that belonged to his best friend now. April had graciously made him a mug of his favorite coffee blend, favorite drinks being something she kept in the house for each brother respectively. His hoodie kept him warm as the cushion beside him dipped and the human sat with her own mug. "You wanna talk about it, Dee?" She asked, earnest eyes watching him for any signs of an oncoming meltdown.

"Kind of? But not really," he murmured, bringing the cup to his lips and taking a long sip. "Alright," she conceded, though she stretched out her arm towards him and held out her hand. He paused before reaching for it, letting their fingers entwine. Neither of them said anything; they didn’t need to. It was as if with one touch, April O’Neil could read Donatello’s mind.

The night dragged on in comfortable silence.


End file.
